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Scene I: The Penguin Habitat (Exterior)Edit

A crowd of humans were around the penguin habitat. Alice is holding bags that are contain penguin food.

Alice: Feed the penguins! Two bucks!

The crowd grab the bags from Alice.

Alice: (signs) Animals.
James: Now, Jake?
Jake: Not yet, James. You gotta play hard to get. Make'em beg for it.
Humans: Over here! Hey, penguins! Entertain me!
John: I’m beginning to sense restless hostility from the crowd.
James: We’re gonna lose them.
Jake: OK. Commence adorable hijinks. Go, go, go!
John: (waddling) Executing waddle with odd, but somehow strangely endearing body shakes.

John executes what he just said.

Humans: Ahhh…
James: Pretending to lose my balance and face-plant into the pool… now!

James executes what he just said.

Humans: Ahhh…
Jake: (belly-sliding) I call belly-slide duty! Let’s make it extra cute and cuddly today, boys.
Humans: Ahhh…

John and James meet up in the pool.

Humans: Ahhh…

Jake and Jack wiggle their faces at each other.

Humans: Ahhh…

James covers himself with his flippers and then uncovers himself with a cute face.

Humans: Ahhh…

Jake and John hop back and forth in front of the crowd while smiling.

Humans: Ahhh…

Jack puts on a cute face like what a girl would do.

Humans: Ahhh…

Jake acts like a baby and uses his back to propel himself back and forth while he’s holding his feet with his flippers.

Humans: Ahhh…

Scene II: The Lemur HabitatEdit

Mort was upside down giggling while Julien XIV is wiping his apple with Mort’s tail. Julien breathes on it, then wipes it with Mort’s tail again. Julien finishes and then drops Mort.

Julien: Yeah. Perfect. Look how beauticious you are. Oh! And this apple here is looking pretty good, too.

Julien takes a bite out of the apple then sees the crowd around the penguin habitat.

Julien: No.

Julien spits out the part of the apple he chewed on at Mort.

Julien: Not “Feeding the Penguins” time! How am I supposed to enjoy my breakfast with all of the savage, fishy smelling fishes assaulting my kingly senses? (claps his hands) Maurice?

Maurice appears along side Mort.

Julien: The royal nose clamp.

Maurice holds Mort up and Mort plugs Julien’s nose with his hands.

Julien: There. That should do the trick.

Mort giggles.

Scene III: The Penguins Habitat (Exterior)Edit

Jack jumps in the air and dives into the water. James and John are moving the feet back and forth.

Crowd: Ahhh…
Jake: John, irresistibility reading.

John grabs his scanner and looks at the meter

John: The crowd’s appetite for our enamoring antics is reaching optimal levels.
Jake: Beautiful. Hit them with the tail-wags. No mercy.

They all line up and wiggle there tails.

Crowd: Ahhh…
Jake: And… cease tail-wagging! Always leave them wanting more.

The penguins stand up.

Crowd: (cheering) There you go! Yeah!
James: We did it!
John: Fish are incoming. Three, two…
Jake: (waving his flipper) Wake up your taste buds, boys.

John, Jack, and James get hit my some strange food.

John: What the...? What are these?
Jake: How’s the catch of the day, gentlemen?

James grabs one piece of the pile of strange food and shakes it.

James: Looks fishy, Jake.
Jake: Fish are supposed to look fishy.
John: No, I think he means “Fishy.”
Jake: Good fishy or bad fishy?

Jake turns around and grabs the piece of food. He cracks it in half which makes Jake’s eyes open wide. The penguins look horribly at the piece of food.

James: Definitely bad fishy, sir.

Jake puts on an angry face.

Scene IV: The Lemur HabitatEdit

Maurice: (sniffs the air) That’s strange. There’s no fish stank. Nothing.

Mort unplugs his hands from Julien’s nose so Julien can sniff the air. Julien sniffs

Julien: You are right.

Julien hits Mort in the face with his elbow.

Julien: The fishy smelling fish fumes are no more.

Julien jumps off his throne

Julien: We shall wildly celebrate! (starts dancing) And I am talking about more than usual, you know what I mean?
Maurice: But if it’s not fish, (drops Mort) what is it?

Scene V: The Penguin Habitat (Interior)Edit

John looks through a set of cardboard binoculars.

John: It appears to be some kind of molecular soy composite, Jake.
Jake: (holding a piece) And we’re supposed to eat this chow?

Jack grabs a piece and extends a knife blade and then uses the knife to cut it in half, but the knife shatters instead.

Jake: We’re penguins, man, we need fish! Real fish.
John: Technically, these cakes do meet our nutritional requirements.

Jake scratches the piece on the wall which makes a mark. Jake than sniffs it.

Jake: OK, boys, let’s give it a shot.

All the penguins had a piece in there flippers, waiting for someone to make their first move. They all take a bite at the same time. John chews first and then makes a questioning face. Jake chews and puts on horrified face. James chews and puts on shocked face on. Jack chews and then puts on the same face like James. They all spit out the food at the same time. James grunts in disgust

James: Maybe it’s more of an acquired taste, Jake.
Jake: Right. We go again…

They all take another bite and then spit it out right after.

Jake: And again.

They take another bite and then spit it out right again. Jack then goes green in the face & vomits up the cake's bits he already ate

Jake: And again!

They once again take another bite and then spit it out right after.

Jake: And again!

Again, they take another bite and then spit it out right after.

Jake: Abort! Abort.

They all have a time out from eating. John goes to the wall and starts hitting it with his flipper. Jack faints and falls over. James struggles to not vomit. Jake tries to comprehend the taste. Jake wipes his tongue.

Jake: This has gotta be some sort of freak experiment. A one time thing, right?

James couldn’t hold it in and quickly runs away and vomits, Jack vomits too, only this time, he spills the liquids of his stomach on the floor

Jack: (Eyes still closed) I'm... (gasps for breath) I'm dying, I need fish

He sprawls on his side not saying anymore

Scene VI: The Penguin Habitat (Exterior)Edit

The penguins have sad expressions on their faces.

John: (sadly) We’re… charming.
James: We’re… loveable.
Humans: Ahhh…

The crowd throws more of the food to them.

Jake: We’re hungry… for real fish!

Jack falls over.

Scene VII: The Lemur HabitatEdit

Julien: (holding a apple) Three days and I am loving this life, baby.

Julien takes a bite out of the apple and swallows it. Julien grabs Mort and throws him in the air.

Julien: No fishy-fish fumes fuming from the fish eaters.

Julien laughs and holds out his arms. Julien catches Mort and then kisses him. Julien lets go of him and grunts in disgust. Julien licks the mat while Maurice is holding Mort and the apple.

Julien: You see, Mort? I am so happy, I forgot, for a second, how disgusting you are. Look at you.
Mort: (bends up) Hi.

Scene VIII: The Penguin Habitat (Exterior)Edit

The penguins are covered with the disgusting food.

Jack: (struggling) Fish! Fish! (gasps) Fish…

Jack closes his eyes but John keeps them open using his flippers.

John: Sixty-seven hours without the succulent, salty tang of the sea.

Jack’s eye looks around.

John: In 5 hours, he'll be gone forever, he's lost the will to live, unless we can get fish or at least a plan to get some to keep him alive longer, he can’t take much more.
Jake: (viciously) Neither can I.

Scene IX: The Penguin Habitat (Interior)Edit

Jake: (holding a stick) What I’m about to show you is highly classified. Slide, James.

James holds a slide picture in front of the flashlight. The picture was Jake with a Hawaiian necklace, standing one foot on a sandcastle, having sunglasses on, and with sand and jungle parts in the background. Jake, looking at the picture, has his mouth open. Then he turns toward James.

James: Sorry, Jake. I don’t know how the holiday shots snaps got in there.

Jake slaps him in the back of the head. Another picture is with John buried in sand with a crab in front of his face that was about to attack him. Jake slaps James again. Another picture, Jack and John playing volleyball, Jack slaps a volleyball right into John’s head. Jake slaps James. Another picture, James has a sunburn with a displeasing look on his face. Jake slaps James. Another picture, Jack put a dynamite stick under a chair with a person sitting on it. Jack has a pleasing look on his face. Jake slaps James. Another picture, John kicks a shark that was trying to eat him while he’s surfing on a surfboard with a wave behind him, Jake slaps him, Another picture, John is doing a cartwheel from kicking the shark that was trying eat him, resulting in a large wipeout. Jake slaps him. Another picture finally shows a picture of the fish truck on the side. Jake comes back on to the view screen.

Jake: This, gentlemen, is our target.

The picture changes to Jake in mid-air from his behind.

Jake: One standard rest…

Jake see’s it and has a distasteful look on his face. He goes back to James again and slaps him. The picture changes to Jake and James wearing their bathing suits and then Jake slaps James on the picture as Jake slaps James right now. Jake goes back to the view screen since it changed back to the fish truck. (note: the picture repeatingly changes with the fish truck.)

Jake: One standard restaurant grade fish truck.

Change: to the last picture with the license.

Jake: Where are we on cracking this code, John?

John looks at a board with the license numbers there but upside down.

John: It’s fiendishly clever encryption, Jake.
Jake: Well, I have secured the services of a...

A picture of Jack Flamingo the flamingo shows up.

Jake: ...specialist for aerial surveillance.

Scene X: The ZooEdit

Jack Flamingo is talking to Jake about the assignment he is doing.

Jack Flamingo: I get a cut of the haul, right?
Jake: You’ll get your fair share, Jack Flamingo.

Jack Flamingo nodded. Jack and James were busy loading the supplies they need on the Zoo Cart. Julien is watching

Julien: No, never. We cannot allow them to return the ferocious fishing fishy smell to my kingdom.

Julien looks to Maurice and Mort who were both watching as well.

Julien: Gather around. Now, we need to be doing exactly what I say. Starting with paying strict attention to me talking right now. Right now. Now.

Scene: XI: Streets and Sewers of New YorkEdit

A radio dish pops up on top of a cart on the street. John is talking on the radio

John: This is Agent Twelve. I am up and operational, All forces are armed, repeat, all forces are armed.

Jack Flamingo: Check

Jake: Affirmative

John: All forces are armed, Target is on the move. Repeat, target is on the move.

In the sewers, Jack was pushing the pedals with a stick as he listened to the radio. Jake is holding the radio while steering the wheel..

Jake: Roger that, Agent Twelve. We are southbound, approaching rendezvous.

Jake hands James the radio as he steers the Zoo Cart. John is watching the fish truck on the surveillance camera attached to Jack Flamingo. The screen scrambles for a second, but returned to normal after John hit it.

John: Target turning east onto 23rd street. Eye in the Sky is a go.

John opens a panel in the cart and then opened a hatch on a post. He then cut the wires in the panel. John talking on the radio.

John: Thirty-four seconds until fish.

The Zoo Cart finally reached the location and Jack put the brakes on. Jack and James climbed up the ladder. Jake is talking on the radio.

Jake: Preydog Blue and Preydog Red are in position.

John tabbed a wire into the panel.

John: T-minus five, four, three, two, one. (wrapping four wires together) Stopping target.

The light changed to red, stopping the fish truck.

John: (on radio) You are “go” for insertion. Go fish! I like the sound of tha... aaaaahhhhhh!

John, thinking about fish, accidentally slipped his tongue on the wires, electrocuting him & malfunctioning the traffic light. The light turned green and the fish truck drove off. Another truck pulled up and stopped. Jack and James removed the sewer panel and cut a circle with a blowtorch. They went in.

Jake: (on radio) James, I want confirmation that there is food on that vehicle.

Extra eyes appeared in the dark where they were, looking at them angrily.

James: That’s affirmative. But it looks like the food is us.

They find out it was a K-9 Security truck. They got attacked by the K-9’s. The light turned green again and the truck drove off.

James: (on radio) Jake! Help!
Jake: Hang on, Preydogs! John, keep your eyes on the target.

Jake took the stick Jack had and pressed a pedal, then turned the Zoo Cart around and began the chase with the K-9 truck.

John: I am locked on, Jake.

Jake was right under the K-9 truck as James and Jack opened the back door and fell out. Jake opened a sewer panel and grabbed Jack and James, breaking their fall. James was dizzy, and accidentally fell over.

John: (on radio) This is Agent Twelve. Are we aborting mission? Repeat, are we aborting mission?

Jack and James were concerned.

Jake: Gentlemen, we are penguins. We have a natural need to feed on the fruits of the sea. That’s the way Mama Nature built us. Now, who wants to spit in the eye of Mama Nature?

James and Jack looked at each other confused.

Jake: That’s what I thought. We are “go” for operation.

John has a lot of wires everywhere, even on in his mouth.

John: Target is turning right onto Broadway. I am sending it to extraction point.

John threw away the radio and connected a few more wires. The fish truck turned a corner as James and Jack landed at the front of the back door. James holds the lock on the back door.

James: Locked!
Jack: (shaking his head) Uh, uh.

Jack regurgitates a clip and started hacking the locker. He succeeded in doing so.

James: We’re in!

John now had wires all over his buddy and I his face as he plugged a wire into the panel. A green light turned red as the fish truck approached. Jake opened the sewer panel under the fish truck as Jack and James cut a hole on top. Jack popped down to see Jake and Jake nodded. The fish crates were going down into the sewers as Jake watched. Jack attached the panel he took off and then closed the sewer panel. Jack and James came to Jake and put the fish crates on as Jake watched happily.

Scene XII: The ZooEdit

They made it back to the zoo as they gave each high-fives.

Jake: Job well done, boys.
James: We have enough fish to last forever!
Jack: (happy) Fish! Fish! (in opera) Fish!

The other penguins looked surprised.

Julien: One small problem.

Julien and Maurice walked out of the shadows with evil expressions on their face.

Julien: We could not allow for you to return to eating the savage smelling, foul-fuming fishy fish.

Snaps his finger to reveal Mort coming from a garbage can, holding all the crates full of dish while moaning holding all that weight.

Julien: So I planned to come up with my own carefully planned plan. To plan to steal the the stinkies ourselves.
A flashback appears showing the procedure of how they stole them. In the flashback, the lemurs appeared behind the Zoo Cart as it stopped at the zoo with the fish crates. Maurice through the crates to Mort, who was holding them, and as Julien watched them do the work. And then they switched the crates with fish cake ones.

Julien: And my plan all went accordingly… to plan. So, you see, we have the crates with the real fish, while yours are filled with only the phony fish cakes, so… (laughs)

Mort couldn’t hold them any longer and was crushed.

Jake: Oh, nice try, Ringtail. But I know how much you hate the smell of fish. I was expecting a move like that.

Another flashback shows up with John putting fish crates in the cart and putting the false ones in instead.

Jake: Which is why I switched the crates before you even got back to the zoo.
Julien: Ah! But I was expecting you to be expecting that.

Another flashback was with the lemurs changing the crates, and they then took the fish crates away.

Julien: So we switcher-ooed the crates on the pier before the fish got loaded onto the truck.
Jake: Doesn’t really matter, because I just switched these crates during your last flashback.
Julien: Well, I switched them while you were saying that you switched them.
Jake: And I switched them the last time you blinked!
Julien: Yes, but I pretended to switch them so you actually switched them back.
Jake: Oh, but I double-switched.
Julien: And I triple-switched.
Jake: I million-zillion-switched!
Julien: I switched them to infinity! So you have to shut up a little bit.
Jake: Ah! But what you didn’t see coming (started sounding like Julien) is that I am actually you!

Jake rips off the covering, revealing Julien. The other penguins and lemurs gasped in shock seeing two Juliens now.

Julien(1): OK, nicely played. But if you are me, then by processing of elimination...

Julien starts to sound like Jake.

Julien(1): ...I must be you!

Julien(1) rips off the covering, revealing Jake.

Julien: Maybe. Maybe. But if you are me and I am you, then we must both be…

Maurice interrupts, coming in between them.

Maurice: Enough! Can we just crack these babies open and get this over with already. Please?

Jack regurgitated a crowbar and yanked open one crate while Mort yanked another crate with a crowbar. They opened them both, revealing only fish cakes in both piles of crates. Jake and Julien both picked up a fish cake. They cracked them.

Jake: (surprised) Fish cakes? They’re all the phony fish cakes!
Julien: (in happiness) Ah-ha! So I am the winner!

Julien looks to Jake, who was angry.

Julien: Right? I think so. Can we get an official ruling on this so I can better enjoy my gloating?
James: But where are the real fish?

John looks at the screen from the camera attached to Jack Flamingo.

John: Uh! I have a theory.
Jake: Huh?

The screen showed the fish.

Scene XIII: The Flamingo HabitatEdit

Jack Flamingo was on top of the pile of fish which was missing. Jack Flamingo ate a fish.

Jack Flamingo: Suckers! You fell for my plot to steal the fish before you managed to get back to the Zoo, so I have the fish while that idiot king has cakes along with you.



END OF ARTICLE

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